Being 30

May 01 2012 Published by under inspiration, life

So I recently turned 30 and in my thirty years on earth (I love that I can finally say that now). Anyway, in my 30 years on earth, there are a few things I’ve learned. Not many, mind, but they are worth something if only to me.

  • I’ve learned that I am not you. Oh, didn’t I realize that before now? Well, maybe I knew with my head, but the rest of me is just catching up. So, now I know and appreciate that I’m me. I love being me with my quirks and foibles…I love that I don’t have to be anyone else so now I can fully explore me to my heart’s content.
  • Another thing I’ve learned is that I don’t have to please you. Hmmm… No, I’m not generally a people-pleaser, but I have this nasty habit of subverting the truth simply because I’m concerned about how you’ll see me. But you know what? I’m going to speak my mind…heck! I love speaking my mind. And if you’re wondering how I feel about the way you see me, revert to the point above.
  • Oh yeah, I love this new maturity that I’m feeling. It’s crazy and I wish I had it in my twenties (another thing I really love saying…’my 20s’) then again, I guess it wouldn’t mean so much to me if I’d had it in my twenties (I couldn’t resist :) ). I understand that the world doesn’t revolve around me, and I’m cool with it. I know Hubby sometimes hurts me, but I also know I hurt him too. LESSON: We are human and the best way to do life is not to take the negatives personal especially from those you love.
  • I have finally (FINALLY) learned to stop looking at that lepa shandy (Translate: skinny girl) and wishing that was me. I love being curvaceous…I read somewhere that it’s called abondanza in Italian; that is, abundance and Lord, I am abundant! LOL. I am not a size 10 but I’m not a size 14 either. So I’m just perfect for me. I might lose weight in the near future, but that’s because it makes me feel good.
  • And yes, I’m now a bit about ME. One of the best things about being 30 for me, is knowing that it’s okay to think about me and do things for me sometimes. I am not usually a selfish person (pity) but I do have traces of selfishness. Right now, I don’t bother beating it into subjugation instead, I embrace it and put it in that trunk labelled ‘My Sanity.’

At 30 I feel like the world is just unfolding for me. I have laid the foundations of my life and it’s time to build the beautiful structure that is me. I am excited. I am awed. And I am humbled. I am in love with me and it feels good; it is from there I find the strength to be in love with anyone else.

I really love being 30 and I had no idea I would. I am exploring several facets of me (yes, including my sensuality) and gradually becoming the woman God made me to be. Life is not perfect but at 30, I’ve come to appreciate that and to find contentment in the imperfect perfection that is my life.

I really like being 30. ;)

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Never let a man know everything…

Apr 26 2012 Published by under life, relationships

Men, such complex creatures. Even after you think you’ve known one for ages, you keep discovering new things. Some wonderful; others not so much.

Funny, I’m almost sure I can hear the echo of some man’s agreement and in reference to the women he’s known.

There’s a lot of dating advice out there but I think this one is pertinent:

Don’t stay with a man who doesn’t respect you. But you’re not a trophy either.

This is if you’re dating; if you’re already married to him, find a way to do something about it.

Woman, you are the prize. But you are not a sign of his potency as a man; he is not allowed to dress you up in fine clothes, give you an expensive hair-do and use you to brag to his friends and colleagues. Yes, he can show you off but you deserve more than his giving you attention only when there is someone there to notice. You are allowed to let him treat you like one of his trophies.

No, I’m not going on a soapbox. I saw this post by H.A.W of Henrietta’s Musing’s, who took it off someone else’s blog and it got me thinking. I’m posting it here because well… it has some really good advice. I don’t agree with everything though, but I’ll let you make up your mind.

Read it and leave a comment telling me if you agree with the advice or if there are some you disagree with.

 

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve

then heck no, you can’t “be friends.”

A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself

a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,

Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has

more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you

All men are not dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships…There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

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Too Precious for Words…

Jan 31 2012 Published by under inspiration, life

ring

Photo by Lavinia Marin - sxc.hu

That is how I feel about my children. Raising two when the oldest is not yet two years old is not an easy job but it is a wonderful one. I feel so blessed, I can’t even begin to describe it. I have been given the privilege of watching my children grow, of being able to be there for them and that for me, is even more precious that a box full of sapphire rings - and I’m that kinda chick.

Last night I stayed up late working (I was ghostwriting a fiction novel for a client). I was utterly exhausted when I went to bed but I had not even been sleeping up to 2 hours when my little boy woke up and wanted to eat. I introduced formula but I breastfeed 96%. So I fed him, then he didn’t want to go back to sleep. He wanted to play and nuzzle and suck some more. So we just cuddled while I tried to catch some shut-eye.

I woke up really tired but you know what? I felt special. I had shared a moment with my son and that was too precious for words.

I go to bed each night wondering what I did to deserve such gifts. Why did God single me out to bless this way? I can’t get over it. So I get up early (after the baby goes back to sleep) and spend some time with HIM; just to let him know how much I appreciate him and to express what I know is too precious for words.

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