When you know the purpose for a certain thing, then some other things begin to make sense. I don’t know how else to explain it. All my years I have heard people talk about getting to know your purpose and I troubled myself about not knowing mine for so long until I came to understand that I DO have a purpose, but God only reveals it to me a little at a time. So that gave me peace.
But lately, I have been wondering about what my purpose is because of certain circumstances I’m going through. I found myself floundering, swinging from one end to another. One minute I’m making plans to relocate to one city, the next I’m thinking of another. And then there were times when I wondered if I was not supposed to be exactly where I was. I could not make up my mind one way or another and even when I got confirmation in my spirit, I still fought it because it was not in line with what I wanted for myself.
Recently however, I have come to a place of acceptance. I now know my purpose for this time. And with that knowledge comes peace. Everything is as it should be. I don’t like it, but I know that it is for a higher purpose. God’s purpose is greater than my pain. I have had the rare opportunity to see the bigger picture and I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at the moment. That’s all I need to know.
It’s a popular (maybe even cliched) saying, but it is steeped in truth. The real quote is actually by William Congreve – who was an English playwright and poet and was probably on the receiving end of a scorned woman’s fury – and it is:
“Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”
I would never have put myself down as a woman that has ever been scorned and to be honest, it’s not something I like to admit. But searching carefully through my mind, I have to own up and say that I have felt like a woman scorned once or twice in my life (actually twice).
The first time was at University and it was with a guy I thought I loved. I knew he loved me back and yet he chose someone else for reasons best known to him. Oh, I felt scorned. I did not go after him with a bazooka, but I completely amputated him from my life. I treated him like the scourge I decided he was and exterminated any form of relationship we could have had. And that’s the painful thing about being scorned…you never forget because even now as I’m writing this, when I know I don’t even care, I still will not have anything to do with him – not even as a friend.
So I began a transition to natural hair. For the last 17 years my hair has been processed. I’ve had it cut short a few times but then as soon as it was long enough for relaxer, I slathered it on. This was mostly because my natural hair is so kinky and the curls so tiny and tight that I had no idea what to do with it.
There’s been a slow natural hair revolution in Nigeria and it’s gradually gaining momentum; all of a sudden, it’s more trendy to have natural hair on. This has been so for the last one or two years. So why am I just making the decision? Actually I’d thought about it… I have been thinking about it for some time. But I wanted to be sure I was not joining some band wagon, going natural simply because it seems trendy at the moment.